Thank You For Holding

 Thank you for holding. We appreciate that your call is important to you. Unfortunately for you it is not important to us. You may think it is but that's because you're living in a world where you are told that the customer is important. We are, however, in business and our business is to make a profit. Everything that does not fulfil that is an obstruction to be removed.

Unless you can actually benefit us and improve our bottom line then you are nothing but a bump on the road. So please continue to hold if you wish. You should know, however, that we have placed several minefields in your way, some of which may feel to you like you're in a constant loop. If you think that you are correct because that is our intent.

Please continue to hold and the next available operator will be with you shortly.

You are number 1,481 in the queue and your expected wait time is twelve hours, at which time we will be closed. You are welcome to phone again tomorrow.